Here I am... 2 months on testosterone. I'm not sure if I expected to be more excited, if I should be more excited, or if I'm exactly how I should be. Everything seems right in so many ways with my life right now and also things all seem so foreign and off. No matter how much I tried to button up everything before starting my transition, life throws it's mighty punches. That's the lesson it seems... to just ride the waves because they never stop coming.

EndowedRiver EastwoodApril 16, 2017ftm, trans, Trans, transition, transgender, transman, update, hrt, hormones, testosterone, t shot, blog, bulk, bodybuilding, change, Depression, dysphoria, doctor, discovery, expression, emotional health, experience, endowed, FTM, female to male, facial hair, ftm fitness, fear, gender, gender transition, gains, grow, health, honesty, hormone replacement therapy, healing, identity, journal, journey, Journey, lgbtq, LGBT, motivation, milestone, man, male, masculine, nonbinary, progress, queer, selfmade, sunday, vlog, wellnessComment

Drinking After Sobriety

After ruminating on the decision I knew that I didn't want to drink to alter my state, escape, numb out, or run. I wanted to be able to drink occasionally, end of story. It was the lack of excitement about it that was promising to me. I wasn't itching for a swig. I knew that if I tried it again and it didn't go well, that I could always go back to sobriety. That method would always be there for me as a tool.

EmbraceRiver EastwoodMarch 12, 2017sobriety, Anxiety, Depression, trans, drinking, alcohol, recovery, journey, story, struggle, strength, change, Self Work, self care, awakening, discovery, mental health, honesty, Personal Story, journal, experienceComment

12 Week Beginner Bulk Program