Here I am... 2 months on testosterone. I'm not sure if I expected to be more excited, if I should be more excited, or if I'm exactly how I should be. Everything seems right in so many ways with my life right now and also things all seem so foreign and off. No matter how much I tried to button up everything before starting my transition, life throws it's mighty punches. That's the lesson it seems... to just ride the waves because they never stop coming.

EndowedRiver EastwoodApril 16, 2017ftm, trans, Trans, transition, transgender, transman, update, hrt, hormones, testosterone, t shot, blog, bulk, bodybuilding, change, Depression, dysphoria, doctor, discovery, expression, emotional health, experience, endowed, FTM, female to male, facial hair, ftm fitness, fear, gender, gender transition, gains, grow, health, honesty, hormone replacement therapy, healing, identity, journal, journey, Journey, lgbtq, LGBT, motivation, milestone, man, male, masculine, nonbinary, progress, queer, selfmade, sunday, vlog, wellnessComment

7 Weeks On Testosterone - Video Update

This video is part of my transition update series and it marks 7 weeks on hormone replacement therapy. I start the video talking about the physical changes that I have been experiencing. These include facial hair growth, body hair thickness, changes to my cycle, and voice changes.

6 Weeks on Testosterone

On Monday, April 3rd, 2017, I will inject my 7th shot of testosterone which puts me at 6 weeks on hormone replacement therapy. Lately, I have been through some significant stress in my work life and personal life. Managing my stress has been a big priority over the past 2 weeks. In this pressure cooker of stress, I noticed some interesting things happen with my self confidence and my gender dysphoria. Being stressed caused me to feel weak and not as energetic, this dampened my spirits and created a chain reaction that went straight for my self confidence.

Combating Stress and Self Doubt

This video is on the topic of stress and how it often causes me to doubt myself. These doubts often lead to self confidence and shame issues. Throughout my journey to my authentic self, I've experienced many bouts of shame, anxiety, depression, and lack of self confidence. There have been some really helpful self care tools that got me through hard times and this video aims to share those.

Embrace, Endowed, VlogRiver EastwoodApril 1, 2017ftm, gender, trans, transition, gender transition, lgbtq, LGBT, strength, stress, Anxiety, Depression, female to male, fear, awakening, awareness, video, vlog, blog, expression, emotional health, Embrace, experience, endowed, FTM, gratitude, hrt, health, honesty, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, dysphoria, healing, identity, Journey, journal, motivation, nonbinary, doubt, relax, routine, reading, recovery, selfmade, self developmentComment

3 Weeks on Testosterone

The calm that has overtaken me is very stable and steady. In the past 3 weeks my life hasn't been a breeze, it's been stressful with work and I've had relationship issues straining me. The difference is occurring in how I am existing through these events.

Transition Update - 2 Weeks On Testosterone

This video was made a few days before my 3rd shot of testosterone. Between my first shot and this video, life got really busy. This video is a little longer than originally intended. It overviews my first shot experience along with the changes that I have experienced thus far.

Endowed, VlogRiver EastwoodMarch 5, 2017trans, transition, transgender, transman, hrt, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, update, nonbinary, ftm, female to male, video, journey, journalComment

The Day Before My First T-Shot

This video was made the day before my first shot of testosterone and official start of hormone replacement therapy.

Endowed, VlogRiver EastwoodMarch 5, 2017trans, transition, transgender, transman, ftm, gender, gender transition, journey, journal, story, testosterone, t-shot, shot day, hrt, hormone replacement therapy, hormones, appointment, update, video, blog, nonbinaryComment

HRT Follow Up - What's Next?

This video was made in the a few weeks after my first appointment for hormone replacement therapy. It outlines some of the struggles that I was facing with test results and obtaining hormones.

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My First HRT Appointment

This video was made after my first appointment for hormone replacement therapy. It outlines some of my fears and doubts going into the appointment, my experience with the Doctor, and the next steps in my medical gender transition.

Endowed, VlogRiver EastwoodMarch 5, 2017trans, transition, transgender, gender, gender transition, ftm, hrt, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, appointment, doctor, female to male, nonbinary, lgbtq, LGBT, journey, story, journal, video, blogComment

Transition Introduction

Endowed follows me through my gender transition using video, photography, and writing. The goal of Endowed is to document and explore what I experience during this transition journey.