The last 2 weeks since my previous update have been a little up and down. For the first 10 weeks of hormone replacement therapy, I can honestly say that my dysphoria was doing really good. Going on T definitely has helped ease so many aspects of my gender dysphoria and I know that I am on the path to elevating it even further. In the aftermath of coming out to my professional network... some stuff got stirred up and my dysphoria has been creeping in lately.

EndowedRiver EastwoodMay 16, 2017update, hrt, testosterone, awareness, authentic, blog, bulking, bulk, build, body hair, change, journey, trans, transition, transgender, transman, Trans, train, gender transition, gender, comparison, dysphoria, expression, emotional health, experience, endowed, Self Work, FTM, ftm, fit, facial hair, female to male, fitness, ftm fitness, grow, gains, gratitude, health, honesty, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, identity, journal, Journey, learn, love, lgbtq, LGBT, lift, lifting, man, mass, motivation, male, milestone, nonbinary, nutrition, plan, queer, relax, rest, resources, selfmade, soul, size, shot day, wellnessComment

10 Weeks On Testosterone - HRT Update

Wow, the past two weeks have flown by and they have been full of changes... both physically and in my life. The last update I did was at my 2 months on T mark. I'm now at 10 full weeks on hormone replacement therapy and these were the 2 weeks full of the most changes.

EndowedRiver EastwoodApril 30, 2017hrt, testosterone, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, update, ftm, trans, transition, transgender, transman, nonbinary, gender, gender transition, blog, comparison, dysphoria, Depression, Anxiety, expression, experience, emotional health, endowed, Self Work, FTM, facial hair, female to male, fear, grow, gains, gratitude, health, honesty, healing, identity, journal, journey, lgbtq, LGBT, love, man, motivation, male, pronouns, preferred pronouns, coming out, t-shot, t shot, queer, selfmade, sunday, soul, size, muscle, body acceptance, body hair, change, progressComment

2 Months On Testosterone - Video Update

This video is part of my series "Endowed" which follows me through my first year of gender transition. I am just about 2 months into hormone replacement therapy in this video and wanted to document the physical and mental changes that I have been experiencing along with some life updates.

Endowed, VlogRiver EastwoodApril 16, 2017hrt, ftm, FTM, testosterone, t shot, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, Depression, dysphoria, bulk, blog, bodybuilding, build, change, expression, emotional health, experience, endowed, facial hair, female to male, ftm fitness, grow, gains, gender, gender transition, health, honesty, healing, journal, journey, lgbtq, LGBT, man, motivation, nonbinary, progress, queer, selfmade, sunday, wellness, trans, Trans, transgender, transman, transitionComment

2 Months On Testosterone - HRT Update

Here I am... 2 months on testosterone. I'm not sure if I expected to be more excited, if I should be more excited, or if I'm exactly how I should be. Everything seems right in so many ways with my life right now and also things all seem so foreign and off. No matter how much I tried to button up everything before starting my transition, life throws it's mighty punches. That's the lesson it seems... to just ride the waves because they never stop coming.

EndowedRiver EastwoodApril 16, 2017ftm, trans, Trans, transition, transgender, transman, update, hrt, hormones, testosterone, t shot, blog, bulk, bodybuilding, change, Depression, dysphoria, doctor, discovery, expression, emotional health, experience, endowed, FTM, female to male, facial hair, ftm fitness, fear, gender, gender transition, gains, grow, health, honesty, hormone replacement therapy, healing, identity, journal, journey, Journey, lgbtq, LGBT, motivation, milestone, man, male, masculine, nonbinary, progress, queer, selfmade, sunday, vlog, wellnessComment

Training Plans - Arm Workout

Ah, the ol' Bi's and Tri's. Working arms has always been one of my favorite workouts but for different reasons than something like Chest Day. Working arms feels good and it's often an easier workout than many others. The biceps can take a lot. It takes quite a while for me to fully exhaust my biceps and triceps, so I feel strong throughout the entire workout. With an area like arms, I focus on two key things during the workout...

Grow, TrainingRiver EastwoodApril 9, 2017arms, bodybuilding, blog, Body Building, build, bulk, consistency, dedication, exercise, experience, FTM, ftm, female to male, fitness, ftm fitness, grow, gym, gains, gender transition, how to, health, hrt, size, journey, lean, lgbtq, LGBT, learn, lift, lifting, mass, motivation, nonbinary, pre t, practice, plan, plant based, positivity, routine, resources, selfmade, train, Training, muscle, weight lifting, workout, wellness, biceps, triceps, fit Comments

6 Weeks on Testosterone

On Monday, April 3rd, 2017, I will inject my 7th shot of testosterone which puts me at 6 weeks on hormone replacement therapy. Lately, I have been through some significant stress in my work life and personal life. Managing my stress has been a big priority over the past 2 weeks. In this pressure cooker of stress, I noticed some interesting things happen with my self confidence and my gender dysphoria. Being stressed caused me to feel weak and not as energetic, this dampened my spirits and created a chain reaction that went straight for my self confidence.

Combating Stress and Self Doubt

This video is on the topic of stress and how it often causes me to doubt myself. These doubts often lead to self confidence and shame issues. Throughout my journey to my authentic self, I've experienced many bouts of shame, anxiety, depression, and lack of self confidence. There have been some really helpful self care tools that got me through hard times and this video aims to share those.

Embrace, Endowed, VlogRiver EastwoodApril 1, 2017ftm, gender, trans, transition, gender transition, lgbtq, LGBT, strength, stress, Anxiety, Depression, female to male, fear, awakening, awareness, video, vlog, blog, expression, emotional health, Embrace, experience, endowed, FTM, gratitude, hrt, health, honesty, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, dysphoria, healing, identity, Journey, journal, motivation, nonbinary, doubt, relax, routine, reading, recovery, selfmade, self developmentComment

12 Week Bulk to Gain Lean Mass Program - FTM Fitness

This bulk program is going to be challenging for me because I have a hard time with being "fluffy". Anytime my body fat goes up, especially around my waist, my dysphoria kicks up. I struggle with this and it is a hurdle to overcome. I know I want to gain size, strength, and muscle mass but getting there requires a bit of puffiness and less of a lean/tight look. This will be my battle... allowing myself to gain weight and finding the mental peace with it.

Grow, TrainingRiver EastwoodMarch 26, 2017bulk, Body Building, bodybuilding, breakfast, blog, consistency, cooking, diet, dysphoria, exercise, experience, FTM, food, fitness, ftm fitness, female to male, lift, lifting, Self Work, self development, gym, grow, gender transition, gender, gains, lgbtq, LGBT, vegan, vegetarian, program, progress, weight lifting, how to, hrt, hormone replacement therapy, hormones, intermittent fasting, selfmade, superfood, struggle, train, tracking, Training, tool, testosterone, trans, transman, transgender, transition, strength, learn, plant based, nutrition, protein, practice, Trans, introduction, pea protein, ftm, masculine, workout, wellness, whole food, health, healthy eating, change, build, journey, meal plan, motivation, mass, muscle, macros Comment

One Month on Testosterone - Video Update

This video is part of my transition update series and it marks my one month on hormone replacement therapy. The video first goes over the mental changes that I have experienced during this first month. I also go over the physical changes that I have been experiencing along with some issues that I have had lately with needles and distribution of my hormones.

ENDOWED, VlogRiver EastwoodMarch 19, 2017transition, update, vlog, video, blog, ftm, trans, transgender, transman, gender transition, gender, change, mental health, hrt, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, testosterone, t shot, t-shot, shot day, Personal Story, endowed, experience, expression, positivity, lgbtq, LGBT, nonbinary, milestone, youtubeComment

Tarot as a Self Care Tool

The beauty of the Tarot lies in the relationship that one develops with it over time. There will be readings that are just ok, some will be surprising, and some will be deeply moving. There are times that I have felt an energy connecting with me that was clear and strong.

EmbraceRiver EastwoodMarch 19, 2017tarot, spirituality, self care, Self Work, self development, tool, resources, tarot cards, reading, tarot reading, how to, learn, milestone, moments, crystals, healing, mental health, experience, journal, journey, wellness, Depression, struggle, Personal Story, emotional health, Embrace, cards, doubt, honesty, health, grow, fear, gratitude, awakening, awareness, practice, relax, Anxiety, change, gender, gender transition, expression, identityComment

Drinking After Sobriety

After ruminating on the decision I knew that I didn't want to drink to alter my state, escape, numb out, or run. I wanted to be able to drink occasionally, end of story. It was the lack of excitement about it that was promising to me. I wasn't itching for a swig. I knew that if I tried it again and it didn't go well, that I could always go back to sobriety. That method would always be there for me as a tool.

EmbraceRiver EastwoodMarch 12, 2017sobriety, Anxiety, Depression, trans, drinking, alcohol, recovery, journey, story, struggle, strength, change, Self Work, self care, awakening, discovery, mental health, honesty, Personal Story, journal, experienceComment

Transition Introduction

Endowed follows me through my gender transition using video, photography, and writing. The goal of Endowed is to document and explore what I experience during this transition journey.

Endowed, VlogRiver EastwoodMarch 5, 2017transition, trans, transgender, female to male, ftm, hrt, hormones, hormone replacement therapy, gender, identity, gender transition, selfmade, transman, nonbinary, LGBT, lgbtq, journey, story, experience, video, journalComment

12 Week Beginner Bulk Program